Calm Down Corner: What It Is and Why Your Child Needs One
Children can experience big feelings and they often lack the skills to know what to do with those big feelings. The result: meltdowns, tantrums, yelling, crying, and more. So how do we help our children in those moments while also teaching them the skills they need to manage those big feelings? Calm down corner to the rescue!
First, a calm down corner is not about sending your child to time-out to deal with feelings on their own. Before encouraging your child to use their calm down corner, be sure to connect with them through a hug and telling them something like, “I see you are upset. I am here for you.” Then your child can use their calm down corner as a safe space to take a breath and use some strategies to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. You can even stay with your child as they use their safe space. Once your child has calmed down, connect again, and use that time to check-in with your child. This is a good time to talk about limits and help your child understand your expectations.
The goal of a calm down corner is for your child to learn how to self-regulate and make good choices. So, how do we accomplish that?
1. A calm down corner can be anywhere in the house, it does not have to be a corner. It just needs to be somewhere safe. You want to include tools such as coloring pages or posters that teach children about different feelings and the concept that feelings are not permanent. We want children to be able to identify what they are feeling in the moment and to remember that feelings will pass.
2. You also want to include ways your child can calm down and cope. This might be cards with breathing techniques, cards with different coping strategies that work for your child, or an activity that your child likes to do. For example, if your child likes to read, then make sure you have several books available. You could also include a stress ball, fidget toys, coloring pages, or fun markers.
3. Remember that the space is not a punishment. So, include a blanket, or your child’s favorite stuffed animal. You want your child to like the space and feel safe in it.
Get creative and make sure your child helps you create the calm down area. Let them name it as well. As you work together, use that time to begin teaching them about feelings and how to use their new space.
Children will have big feelings, it is a normal part of childhood, but we can empower them to learn healthy ways to manage and cope with those feelings. Eventually, you want your child to recognize when they are becoming overwhelmed or feeling dysregulated and go to the space on their own.
Here are some resources and inspiration to help you create a calm down area with your child:
